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The Care and Feeding of Evil Empires part 8

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By Corvax 13

Part 8.

Secret Tunnels and hidden complexes: The Dictator is just as paranoid as the Dark Lord, and for just as good reasons. And his need for control will lead to twin, linked, and on the surface paradoxical passions for secrecy and the appearance of forthright openness. If you’re the only one who knows something important, then you control that situation; if everyone thinks that you have no secrets, then you really control the situation. So the Dictator- or a select handful of loyal operatives- will contrive an array of nasty tricks that would fit right into a 1960s TV Spy show. Leading the list of those nasty tricks are secret passages with hidden entrances, and hidden complexes. The strategic and tactical (and even political) advantages of these assets should be obvious to any sufficiently devious GM. And of course, even past the lifespan of the Dictator or Empire, these holdouts could play major roles in whatever adventure or intrigue you might come up with. And remember, while it may seem incredible, hidden rooms, passages and complexes not only were constructed in real life, but many managed to remain hidden for centuries. The entire city of Petra, the ‘rose-red city, half as old as Time’, was a secret from the outside world until well into the early 19th Century. And whether an open secret, or a closely-held secret, or completely forgotten, a secret tunnel or room- or even hidden base- is an invaluable asset to almost any party intrigants. Indeed, it’s a secret that many would be willing to literally kill for.

Sewers: While they may seem woefully prosaic compared to some of the things discussed here, Sewers can be a deft tool in the hands of a shrewd Dictator. First of all, while people may dislike thinking about them, they generally appreciate having them (well, more like really dislike NOT having them), as cities that lack sewage systems are disgustingly smelly, rampant with vermin, and tend to have epidemics that carve large swaths out of the population. Secondly, building a sewer means digging up large stretches of street for weeks, even months at a time (and think about it: do you want to live in a city with a shoddily constructed sewer, that might collapse under your- or worse, someone more powerful than you’s- feet?), which means that the Dictator has an excuse to search for almost anything that might be found under a city, be it a treasure, a mystic spring- or secret tunnels dug by families who don’t feel safe under the Dictator’s regime, or… whatever the GM’s plot requires. And third, a system of sewers can easily be used as a network of underground tunnels and chambers (see immediately above)- as long as you know where the secret doors and gates and such are. You can move almost anything through those nauseating passages, without anyone knowing about it. Anything- or anyone…

Surveillance Systems: As I’ve said, Dictators are all about Control. Part of being in control is knowing what’s going on. Exactly HOW the Dictator goes about that, the specifics, the limitations, and the requirements etc. et al, is of course, up to the GM and the technology of the setting. Indeed, a lot of drama and intrigue can be wrapped up in who knows those- and doesn’t know- those specifics. And, yet again, those systems can survive both the Dictator and the Empire to provide a context for… well, whatever you need justified. Of course, the flip side of all that is while the Dictator insists on being able to spy on everyone else, he keeps his own private affairs discreetly under wraps, with no one the wiser- or, at least, he thinks that.

Systems of Towers and Citadels throughout the land: Dictators like to build a lot of fortresses around their empire. Besides the logistical aspect that the Dark Lord was so hot about, it means that he has a way of keeping his huge army spread across the place, so they can respond to any invasion (or uprising) quickly and decisively. Oh, and it will keep the generals from getting together and plotting a coup, too. Besides housing the troops, the Citadels also house the administrative and service offices of the government. So that the locals never forget who’s really in charge. Of course, once the Empire crumbles, these citadels remain, and are usually the nucleus around which the new power structure will form. And of course, since the Dictator (and his underlings) is THAT kind of guy that means that all those paranoid ‘security’ measures (see above) that he had built into the design of the citadel will still be there. And if someone digs up the documentation that spells out exactly what those ‘security measures’ were, and how they’re activated and controlled, things could get very interesting for the new power elite.
Towers: There is the nagging question- ‘why are there always all these frickin’ towers in fantasy stories?’ The reason is that towers are the most efficient permanent military installation to build in frontier or marginal locations for several reasons. First, the most labor-intensive part of any construction is digging and reinforcing the foundation. Towers have a comparatively narrow base, keeping the labor- and time- that the soldiers are vulnerable digging the foundation to a minimum. Second, towers are upgradeable. They usually begin as rough wooden structures, and then are progressively ‘shod’ in cut stone as the commander decides whether that location is worth the effort or not. Third, a tall tower dominates a landscape in ways that lower-lying structures don’t. Fourth, towers allow a military commander to keep an eye on the surrounding countryside far more efficiently. Fifth, towers are more easily used as landmarks. Sixth, if that culture has signal fires, or semaphore, or even heliographs, towers can be used to transmit simple messages quickly over great distances; a simple message that would take a rider days to get from the frontier to the capitol would only take a few hours. This alone would make building towers a ‘must-do’ on most Dictator’s list. And seventh, beyond being upgradeable, towers are expand-able. A tower can be a structure of its own, or a pair of towers that offer mutual protection, or the final redoubt of a wooden fort, or it may sprout wings and additions, growing into a full-fledged castle. All of that depends on the military and political factors involved. So, the Dictator doesn’t have to worry about throwing men, money and materials into constructing a massive fortress, based on factors that become outdated- or worse, spending all that money on a massive fortress that an enemy captures and uses against him. What this means for a GM is that there can be a countryside dotted with towers in various stages of construction and repair (or disrepair) that can serve as bases for wizards, dragons, bandits, monsters or the odd captive princess, if you wanna go all Grimm’s fairy tales. Still, keep in mind that one of the reasons why most cultures didn’t build towers very high is the fact that the lightning rod is only about 200 years old, and without it towers have a nasty tendency to get struck by lightning. But that’s a real-world problem, and as it’s a fantasy you can simply disregard that.

Thieves’ Guilds: Yes, Thieves Guilds again. The relationship between Thieves Guilds and the Dictator is very different than those between the same thieves and the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord viewed Thieves Guilds as weapons to use against other regimes. The Dictator sees Thieves Guilds as tools to prop up his own regime. Why would anyone as anally Lawful as the Dictator not only tolerate, but nurture a guild of THIEVES? Because he knows that no matter what he does, there’s going to be crime and a criminal underworld. Thieves Guilds regulate and ‘tax’ crime, making it an annoying, even personally offensive, but controlled and manageable factor. After all, Thieves Guilds make most of their money from fencing, gambling, vice, and loan sharking, but most especially from the Protection Racket; rampant violence in the street and wanton housebreaking are bad for their business. Well, unless the violence is perpetrated by members of the Quality, that is. That’s a matter for the guard. Also, Thieves Guilds tend to pick up information here and there that the Dictator would like to know, and a Guild may, with time and experience, mature into another Secret Police organ, or a covert operations arm for the Dictator. The problem is, once that happens, inevitably the word gets out, and the street scum start forming another guild, one that’s not on a leash. And then it gets really interesting. The Dictator might try to suborn that upstart guild as well, but if he does, all he’s doing is setting the stage for a THIRD guild. What can I say, street criminals hate bending knee to authority, that’s why they’re criminals. What this means for the GM is another excuse to have two or more not merely competing Thieves Guild within a setting, but Guilds that have long, vicious histories that hinge on whether their predecessors backed the Dictator, the Rebels, or were just trying to run a business.

Tons of Low-level magical items: When you think about it, really, when you’ve gotten to the level where you can create wondrous items, what’s the point of creating a dinky little +1 sword, or +1 Ring of Protection, or a +1 helmet? Why expend the effort and materials creating something that minor? Simple. You do it because the Dictator fricking TELLS you to. It’s the same dynamic as ‘Fleets of Exotic Vessels’ trope: while the Dark Lord put all of his materials into smithing a +15 Whatabastard sword of Predestined Hero Slaying and a suit of +10 plate Armor of Invulnerability, the Dictator has something much better: he has ARMIES. All that it takes for smiths to create the wonder weapons would be better spent on magical weapons and protections for his Officer Corps and Elite Corps, with Ensigns and Lieutenants getting +1 swords and shields, Captains and Majors getting +2 swords and shields and +1 armor, Colonels getting +3 swords and +2 shields and armor, and so on. Besides, if he really needs it, the Dictator can just dig the Dark Lord’s +15 Whatabastard Sword of Predestined Hero Slaying out of storage (why he’d want it, I have no idea. He was the predestined hero, after all; if the damn thing worked, he wouldn’t be around, now would he?) The point being, from the Dictator’s point of view, the more effective his armies and navies are, the safer the Empire (and himself) are. So, it behooves him to provide the best wonder-materials he can for maybe not the rank and file, but at least for the Officer Class. And not just swords, shields and armor: imagine the strategic benefit if every squad and ship has an Ever-full Bottle of Water, or some other ‘Arabian Nights’ type nifty. From the Artificers’ and Wondersmith’s point of view, this is preferable as well, since a thousand minor commissions are a lot less taxing on them than a handful of back-breaking masterworks. And for the GM? Well, if this is so, then all you have to do to explain the presence of so many minor level magical weapons and armor and do-dads is point at the stamp on the metal that says ‘Property of the Dark Empire. Illegal Possession is punishable by Death and worse’.

Universities of Mad Artificers: Of course, you can’t just whistle up a bunch of Artificers (or whatever you call the guys who hammer out wonder items), and expect them to call. A Dark Lord would send out his Dark Legions to kidnap the Artificer, then hobble the smith, and chain him to the forge. The Dictator has a finer touch: he trains them from scratch, and then plays their egos off against each other. Having Universities where these artificers can learn their craft makes a lot more sense to the Dictator, especially when it means that he doesn’t have to take a lot of crap from some legend-in-his-own-mind Wondersmith. Wayland the Smith’s ego will only be satisfied with producing TREASURES OF LEGENDARY SCOPE! But the kid whose family has gone into seven kinds of hock to send him to this university will be only too happy to knock out a Ring of Fire Resistance to pass his Midterm Exams. And of course, once the kids are there, learning the trade, well, they’re away from their parents, maybe even away from their home village, for the first time… There’s experimentation, competition and goofing around, and carousing, and bragging and showing off… and really, who doesn’t want to forge a giant Rubber Duck golem?

Yes, you could have a university of sane, sober, responsible Artificers… but where’s the fun in THAT?

Wretched Slums: Yes, the Dictator’s Empire will have slums in each of the major cities, including, even especially, his capitol. This does not please the Dictator, not in the least. It’s an offense to his sense of power and entitlement. But for all that, there’s a slum in every one of this major cities. But if the Dictator hates the slums so much, then why are they there?

There are four major reasons why: The first is simple necessity. Poverty happens, as we’ve noted, and there’s nothing that the Dictator can do about it- well, not and have those Fabulously Wealthy Elites that he needs to stay in power.  

The second reason why lies dangerously close to the throne: the Hags that support his reign and guide his rule. They need the slums for reasons of their own. Their primary reason is that they feed on mortal suffering and sin. They’re fighting their basic nature to nurture the Empire, so they need all the pain and woe and degradation they can get. Slums are absolute mines of misery and woe; an Imperial hag can feed on almost as much suffering by a simple walk through the slums as one of her rustic cousins can by chowing down on a pair of children. The second reason is that slums are magnets for all the worst kinds of unclean spirits and monsters, which brings them squarely into the Hags’ clutches. This saves a lot of time tracking down strange beings to render down for various potions.

The third reason relates to the Dictator: the failure of the Predestined Hero to bring the people of the Dark Lord’s former realm into a golden age, wears on him. It forces him to make the fateful decision to choose his own power base over these people’s welfare. All for the Greater Good™ of course. As long as the Dictator continues on this course, willfully ignoring the suffering that he’s partially responsible for, he keeps on his straight path- to Hell, well paved with good intentions. The fourth reason is that the Hags need a good nosh every so often, and if an infant goes missing in the slums? Who’ll notice? The fifth reason is that when the Empire finally does fall, the slums are the tinder that will set the whole thing ablaze. The Hags tend to see the slums as casks of fine wine, aging nicely.

The Fourth reason for the slums is cold-blooded necessity. Besides suffering and misery, the slums produce three things in abundance: soldiers, slaves and colonists. Young men from the slums join the legions as a way out of the slums. Others become criminals, are caught, and are enslaved as part of their punishment. And many others who are caught in crime are ‘Transported’ to imperial colonies (‘colony’ being a nice way of saying ‘conquered territory’), with the expectation that they’ll serve out their sentences- and STAY THERE.

Zoos of Monsters: As counter-intuitive as it may seem, there are actually several reasons for the Dictator to spend money having strange monsters captured and brought to his capitol to be put on display. The first is the message that these horrible menaces may be fearsome, but they are no match for the might of the Dictator! Oh, and his forces, of course. The second is that if these monsters are strange formless fears in the minds of his people, then the Dictator will have problems sending armies and colonists out to the wild lands. But if they can see the horrible monsters on display in nice safe cages, then the Imperial citizenry won’t be as afraid of them, and far more willing to go conquering at the Dictator’s command- and to travel for business purposes, and take a chance on staking out a homestead out on the frontier. The third reason is that, well, these freaks look GREAT in gladiatorial games! And they can be studied by both Wizards and Soldiers, as to learn more about both how to resist these creatures’ powers, and how to fight them. And fourth, well, there’s the tacit threat to the citizens that if the Dictator was forced to flee the capitol, he might have the monsters set free.
But, of course, for the GM, the real reason for such a zoo is to have an excuse to have monsters like this well within human habitations, and quite used to the smell- and taste- of human flesh.

Multiple Generations of Dictators
While I said that Evil Empires tend to be ‘shirtsleeve’ affairs, there’s nothing that says that the middle stage, between the Dark Lord and the Mad Emperor, has to be a single man or woman. The slide down from the Predestined Hero to the cold-hearted despot needn’t be in a single lifetime. Indeed, the stress of not measuring up to the standard of the Heaven-Appointed Avenger (and those hags will make very sure that they don’t) can wear the Champion’s heirs down to the point where they’ll do anything to keep what their father built up from crashing down. No matter how evil it is. And with each succeeding generation, the Kings and Queens- and later, Emperors and Empresses, of that realm will fall further and further from grace, until finally they produce the Hags’ end product… the Mad Emperor.
Have you ever wondered where all those TOWERS that are always littering up every fantasy world come from?
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